Caryl and Jay Casbon

Caryl & Jay Casbon

Authors of Side by Side: The Sacred Art of Couples Aging with Wisdom & Love

Caryl & Jay Casbon met at Lewis & Clark College in 1995. Their shared life of common passions includes interfaith studies, learning, story, pilgrimage, travel, and family.

Awaking from a dream about a project they’d come to call Side by Side led them to buy an RV and travel the US to interview 13 couples in committed relationships living into the winter season of their lives.

Caryl Casbon is a poet & writer, and author of The Everywhere Oracle: A Guided Journey Through Poetry for an Ensouled World (Wyatt-McKenzie Publishing, 2015.) A facilitator through the Center for Courage & Renewal, she has co-written programs dedicated to exploring the inner life, including A Geography of Grace, Befriending the Unknown, The Soul of Aging, and The Anamcara Project and Storybook. She also works as an interfaith minister and spiritual director and has led retreats for over twenty-five years.

Jay Casbon retired in 2016 from Oregon State University as the first Provost of the new Bend Campus for Oregon State University after a lifetime of leadership and teaching in higher education, including thirteen years at Lewis and Clark College as dean of graduate studies. Jay also worked internationally in Ecuador, Peru, China, Germany, Austria, and Italy. Throughout his academic tenure, he published numerous scholarly articles. Currently, Jay serves as a consultant for universities addressing the need for redesign.

Married since 2001, Caryl & Jay live in Santa Barbara, California. They offer extended learning opportunities for working with couples’ groups, online seminars, and in-person retreats. They are both Circle of Trust® facilitators prepared by the Center for Courage & Renewal.

Contact the Casbons at

Follow Jay’s writings, Field Notes, on Substack.


From Side by Side’s Introduction chapter:

We purchased a Winnebago and named it The Dharma Dog to pursue the dream. “Dharma” translates as one’s destiny, a sacred path or duty. A dog, well, follows its nose and knows a good bone when it whiffs one. That, in essence, describes our research methods. Driving across the country and back in two months, over 8,000 miles, we dodged hurricanes and camped among the buffalo in Yellowstone and the iguanas, sandhill cranes, and wild pigs in Florida. The journey enabled us to arrange three-day visits with the couples and carry with us our shelter, camera equipment, and rescue dog, Lily Rose, who showed up at our doorstep one day before we departed.