It takes courage to
RISK
Drawing from her survival of Nazi-occupied Holland and 40 years as a psychologist, Dr. Leni de Mik offers heart-centered practices to rebuild connection and find common ground in our increasingly divided world.
“Leni reminds us that we are not powerless. We can choose connection over isolation, seek out and listen to diverse voices and conversations, and build bridges to understanding.”
—Parker J. Palmer, author of Let Your Life Speak, from the Foreword
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Details
Dimensions
6 x 9
Pages
290
Paperback ISBN
9781959921080
Ebook ISBN
9781959921097
Paperback price
$21.99
Ebook price
$12.99
Pub date
September 16, 2025
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Meet the Author
Leni de Mik, PhD, is a clinical psychologist with a remarkable journey spanning continents and challenges. Born in Nazi-occupied Netherlands in 1941, she survived wartime hardship and immigration, experiences that shaped her profound understanding of human resilience. With over 40 years of clinical practice, Leni (pronounced ”Lainey”) has worked as a teacher, activist, and therapist. Dr. de Mik lives in Minneapolis, continuing to explore the depths of human compassion through meditation classes and wellness workshops. Read longer bio…
About the Book
In a World Without Easy Answers, Begin With Heartfelt Questions
How Shall I Stand Between River and Land?
Heart Questions for Uncertain Times
In this profound blend of memoir and insight, clinical psychologist Leni de Mik invites readers into a journey from Nazi-occupied Holland to a life of healing, reflection, and purpose. Rooted in her father’s legacy in the Dutch Resistance, de Mik explores healing from trauma, reclaiming connection, and responding to moral uncertainty with courage and compassion.
“Between river and land” (tussen rivier en landt) was her father’s often-used shorthand that puzzled Leni for years. As her story unfolds, so too will your own understanding of the many facets of wisdom within that Zen kōan of a question.
Through personal narrative, Buddhist parables, client stories, science and philosophy, she invites readers to navigate isolation, anxiety, and cultural uncertainty with greater self-awareness and courage. Each chapter offers “heart questions” for reflection and journaling.
Readers will discover how to:
- Rebuild emotional resilience
- Move from isolation to community
- Act with integrity in uncertain times
- Listen inwardly and live outwardly with care
Perfect for readers seeking emotional balance, inner clarity, and a path to compassionate action.
At 84, with the perspective of an elder and the precision of a clinical psychologist with over 40 years of practice, Dr. de Mik reveals how small acts of love—a smile, encouragement, a moment of genuine connection—can rebuild the social fabric we’ve begun to lose. Following her 2018 work Comfortable With Being Groundless, she challenges readers to look beyond individual experience, to listen deeply, and to recognize our shared humanity.
How Shall I Stand Between River and Land? is not just a book of insights, but a timely call to action from one of our last witnesses to a pivotal moment in history. It speaks directly to those discouraged by cultural shifts, afraid for the future, yearning for genuine connection, and committed to building a more just world.
Available September 16, 2025
Advance Praise
In this extraordinary book, Leni de Mik illuminates our understanding of resilience and transformation through her moving reflections on surviving trauma and starvation during World War II, the hardships of immigration, her intellectual and spiritual journey, and wisdom gleaned from decades of practice as a clinical psychologist. Her insights and practical guidance for an authentic and meaningful life harmonize beautifully with decades of research on human resilience.
—Ann S. Masten, author of Ordinary Magic: Resilience in Development, and Regents Professor Emerita of Child Development at the University of Minnesota
It is a terrible loss to define ourselves as victims of trauma and grieve the collapse of our easy way of life. Leni’s book shines with the clear light of wisdom gained from fully living life no matter its harshness. Here, we learn questions and practices to awaken the power of the heart, no longer diminished as victims, people engaging wholeheartedly with life as caring and confident contributors. Thank you Leni.
—Margaret Wheatley, author of 13 books, from Leadership and The New Science to Restoring Sanity
Feeling adrift in an uncertain world? Leni de Mik’s How Shall I Stand Between River and Land? offers a welcome guide. With wisdom gained from her experience adapting across four cultures, she understands the challenges of change firsthand.
Leni helps us find a way to stay true to who we are even when everything around us is shifting. Her stories act as a compass for how to lead with your values and build authentic, trust-based connections. If you’re looking for courage, confidence, and balance in our chaotic times, this is a must-read.
—Erin Meyer, New York Times best-selling author of No Rules Rules and The Culture Map
The world is crying out for wise elders to step forward in these troubling times. Leni de Mik’s new book is a clarion call to return to our hearts in a world gone mad. We all benefit from her 80+ years of experience and wisdom as she chronicles a life of activism in service to life. Read it now!
—Patricia and Craig Neal, past publisher of Utne Reader, and co-founders, Center for Purposeful Leadership, co-authors, The Art of Convening
As a long-time Buddhist teacher and author, I am happy to say that this is a book that has no “stink of Buddhism” (Leni also has spent years as a Buddhist practitioner) or of any specific religion, which lends to both its value and its deep spirituality. Drawing on her own experience, Leni illustrates the relationship between opening up your heart to a timeless stillness and reaching out and supporting others who are suffering—what the 13th century Zen teacher Dogen called, forgetting the self and acting from a feeling of “intimacy with all life.” Leni serves as a role model for us all in her ability to do this.
—Tim Burkett, author of Nothing Holy About It, Zen in the Age of Anxiety, and Enlightenment Is an Accident
Weaving together wisdom, experience, and life stories, Leni de Milk has created a tapestry for living a heart-centered life. Blending practical guidance and thoughtful reflections, How Shall I Stand Between River & Land? offers inspiration for those seeking a balance between personal growth and a purposeful relationship with the world around them.
—Helen Davidson, blogger and life-story facilitator for older women at agelesspossibilities.org
This book is amazing! It is part memoir, part psychology, part admonition to the reader—there is so much in it! To me, it represents a lifetime of living, experience, and thought. Simply amazing.
—Marilyn J. Kaman, international judge, United Nations mission in Kosovo
Leni de Mik began her life in the Netherlands where her father accepted the dangers of being a leader in the Resistance to Nazi occupation. Dr. de Mik became a psychologist in the United States. This is a journal of her heart’s self-discovery. Maturing is not a process of simply coming to understand the world outside. Rather, it is an awakening, a self-exploration, where one becomes brave enough to grow in empathy and arrive at compassion for broadest sense of our shared humanity. Life stories, this story, must be read with intuition, that is between the lines, to appreciate her heart’s wisdom.
—Steven Miles, MD, Prof Emeritus of Medicine and Bioethics, University of Minnesota, and author of The Torture Doctors: Human Rights Crimes and the Road to Justice
Midwest Book Review
From the desk of Suzie Housley:
Synopsis: In a world where uncertainty often prevails, searching for guidance and meaning has never felt more urgent. As we navigate the complexities of modern life, many of us long for a more profound sense of purpose and clarity. This is where the journey inward becomes essential—a reminder that the answers we seek are often quietly waiting within.
Discovering an outlet that allows us to break from routine provides a powerful opportunity to immerse ourselves in new cultures and perspectives and explore a way of different being. As Dr. Leni de Mik reflects, silence is a vital doorway to inner wisdom. In stillness, we find space to truly listen—to our hearts, our values, and the truths that guide us.
Embrace the adventure of self-discovery as you explore yourself and unlock the depths of your own spirit. With each experience, you build the courage to live with greater awareness, compassion, and moral clarity.
So, why hesitate? Let the quiet wisdom within you chart the course for your next incredible journey.
Critique: How Shall I Stand Between River & Land? symbolizes the delicate balance we seek amidst the chaos of life. It’s a metaphor for the moments of reflection and exploration that allow us to understand ourselves and our place in the world, a central theme of this book.
Immerse yourself in the enchanting world of Leni de Mik’s latest masterpiece, a book that not only invites you to pause amidst the hustle and bustle of life but also promises a transformative journey of self-reflection. It’s a journey that will inspire and motivate you to explore the depths of your being.
In a world that often feels tumultuous and unpredictable, the quest for self-discovery has never been more essential. This book, amidst the fear of war and economic instability, offers a beacon of hope and a roadmap for personal growth and resilience in these troubled times.
Each page challenges you to examine not only your own experiences but also your connection to the world around you. This book beautifully illustrates the intricate weaving of our personal journeys into humanity’s larger tapestry, thus making you feel connected and part of something bigger. It encourages exploration of our identities and aspirations, cultivating the courage to act wisely and navigate life’s moral challenges.
So, why delay? Let the wisdom of your heart guide you on your next adventure and let this book be your companion on the journey of self-discovery.
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Related Media Coverage
Fortitude Substack (September 3, 2025) Human Hearts Create War and Peace << See a video of Leni reading from her book and a recently written reflection, plus family photos.
Fortitude Substack (September 16, 2025) How Shall I Stand Between River and Land? New book poses heart questions for uncertain times. << See book launch reflections, book excerpts and more family photos.
MN Star Tribune, SEPTEMBER 25, 2020 Twin Cities therapists emphasize need to prepare purposeful COVID ‘bubbles’ before winter: Experts concerned about single individuals left out of social circles. PDF
KFF Health News, NOVEMBER 3, 2020 Seniors Form Pods to Ward off Isolation this Winter. calling attention to what they call SILOS, an acronym for “single individuals left out of social circles,” and their need for dependable social contact this winter and fall.